My wife had her knees operated on during the summer.
She was told by the doctor to take care of them, thatís all you got.
Winter: I am working at the dam, the job is tough. There is ice, snow and oil on some equipment. It is an outside job and I have to clean some ice off of some outside large gears. I step over one of the gears and as my leg is stretched over the gear my back foot slips backwards in the ice and the unseen oil. I did the splits, my body drops hard on the gear. I was put out of commission for three or four days. My drive home was not uneventful and that is another story.
(Youíll have to add some extra growls and groans as needed and you will have to add some time between these sentences)
Like the rest of the world we have pets and that is where our story begins. That afternoon after seeing the doctor and settling down on my chair with a great amount of pain, walking is almost out of the question. My wife Laurel informs me that she hears a meowing sound coming from the acrylic bath tub enclosure. I said to her donít worry about it if it is a cat they find a way to get home. That was about seven in the evening. About ten that night I decide to move myself to bed. I fight my way out of the chair and crawl down the hall to the bedroom. This is one of those places where you'll have to add a lot of groans and a lot of time to this story. In the dark and in the quiet of the night we are in bed listening to the quiet meows of the cat. Our wheels are turning; I am seeing dead cats in the walls; heaven only knows what Laurel is thinking. My wife says do something and I say I canít. It is eleven at night and it is cold out. My wife says that she is going under the house and see if the cat is there? I explain to her where the cat might be, somewhere near the bathtub drain. She goes out in the middle of the night in a warm jacket, flashlight and nightgown and opens the crawl space door. She crawls in the damp dirt dragging herself and the flashlight on her hands and knees to where I had asked her to go and shines the light up into the bathtub drain. This is also one of those places where you'll have to add a lot of groans and a lot of time to this story both for Laurel and for me as I maneuvered out of the bed and onto the floor and crawled to the spot directly above Laurel. No cat, she calls and meows. She hears the cat but decides that there is nothing to do under the house. She crawls in the damp dirt dragging herself and the flashlight on her hands and knees back to where the crawl space door leads out into the cold frozen darkness. She is back in the house, her knees are in pain and her cloths are a sight to see. We go to plan ďBĒ. My wife is not walking too swiftly. I crawl to the wall where the bath tub fixtures are. I ask my wife to bring me a keyhole saw. She looks at me puzzled? She hobbles back with the saw. I cut a one foot hole in the wall and remove the drywall. I crawl out of the way Laurel gets on her knees and with the flashlight shines her light under the tub. She hears the cat but she does not see it. She shows me the holes in the floor that need to be covered. She hobbles off to get me some foil. (Youíll have to add some extra growls and groans as needed) We decide that the cat is at the other end of the tub. I am in a painful daze as I crawl to the other side of our bedroom. We both roll a cabinet out of the way on our hands and knees. I cut another one foot hole in the wall at the back of the enclosure; I crawl out of the way. My wife takes the flashlight and looks behind the tub. No cat and there is no sound, no sound. She meows and hears the cat. She shines the light toward the ceiling, I sigh and grumble. She is gone and returns with a folding chair. I will not let her stand on the chair that she brought into the room. I roll onto the bed and roll toward the chair. Ö.add a lot of groans and a lot of time to this story. With a great amount of effort I am standing on the chair and cutting another hole in the middle of the top of the enclosure. I collapse onto the bed and my wife climbs onto the chair with the flashlight in tow. She says the cat is there, it is sleeping on the warm bathtub light fixture. She begs the cat to come over with some cat food. I am out of it, I am numb, I am starring at the ceiling, Iím gone.
Gollum is learning the meaning of ....