I am always looking for god or understanding, always asking,
"Why are we here?" I am never quite sure if what I think is right or is
it just my imagination as it falls out onto this screen. My mind goes up
and my mind goes down, my emotions are not much different than any other
human on this planet. I know that the world needs a comfortable blanket.
I am always reaching for the covers that have left my mind, I like everyone
else needs reassurance, the sound of the eternal mother cooing in my ear.
I realize that I talk in circles to no one in particular; I sometimes wonder, "Did I sit here for hours correcting and rethinking these thoughts that leave this mind". No that is the way I think, far-fetched and abstract. These thoughts leave this brain and go directly to the screen, I correct the spelling and fly away to another thought.
I always want to make the bond with another human but I am a loner with a thick skin. I am/or was the original follower, keeping my voice quiet, just staying back at a distance unnoticed. I am still unnoticed or ignored whatever the preference may be. My words are always brief and sometimes cutting. I am direct in what I say sometimes, my meanings are so general. Sometimes when I read what I have written it does not say what I meant, so I rewrite it so it will make sense, these words never seem to make sense. I do not follow any pattern other than putting a cap at the beginning of the sentence and a period at the end of these sentences. Sometimes I erase a thought knowing that it makes no sense in this environment. I change the subject as the mind goes, it wanders, sometimes painting a portrait of my view at the moment and then going back to what should make the world a better place.
I keep thanking my past (the turning on with the help of drugs) that helped me to see a different point of view. My mind will always be with the minds that taught me to be free, to listen and understand the grumbles and vague solutions that others place in these tablets of speech that appear on this computer screen. My mind melds with what we call the vibes of the sixties though they are now the vibes of the new century. As I read I see that we are closer to the world and it's feeling about war than ever before. There are so many directions that we can go but we keep coming back here to the peace that we create on these web sites. Take Care of our world, our body and our mind. Tomas
Gollum is learning the meaning of ....